My wife turned off the television and said to our eldest child, “Go upstairs and write down your feelings. One day you will look back on this day and be glad that you did.” Our eleven-year-old daughter went to her bedroom to ponder what she had seen that horrific Tuesday, September 11, 2001. She came downstairs several hours later. She told her Mom, “I still don’t know how I feel.”

Which is exactly how I feel today. I still don’t know how I feel. Maybe in a few years I will. Until then, I’m taking the advice of my wife to record daily thoughts that make this moment in history so indelible.

March 22 I attended more churches today than usual. One in Utica, New York, one in Tulsa, one in Bartlesville. I grew up with a weekly tradition of communion at church. Today I read scripture around my parents dining room table…Mom sniffles and wipes tears and I remember sitting next to her one Easter Sunday in my childhood as the preacher described Jesus suffering on the cross, as she wiped away tears. Dad struggles to breathe, he takes bread, he drinks…today we are alive, we are redeemed.

March 23 My hands are rebelling against all the hygiene like curious children looking for a mud puddle to stomp through just for fun, but I won’t let them. I keep sending them through the Doxology car wash. Praise God from whom all blessings flow…the Doxology takes about 20 seconds to sing and so I hum that while scrubbing my hands to insure a twenty second scrub. Thanks for the idea Greg Taylor!

March 24 I felt like giving my grocery clerk a hug this morning. What a thankless job! “How are you doing? Hang in there! Take care, be safe” We said these words to one another and they are no longer greetings…the meaning underlying them is real.

March 25 Daniel Emmit Taylor was born today. He is the son of Drew and Brittany Taylor and grandson of my brother Toby and his wife Debbie. He is a beautiful kid! Can’t wait to hold him someday.

March 26 My nephew Jacob got married today in an outdoor ceremony. The guest list was short and well-spaced. The wedding had been planned for May. This moment in history is changing how we are ushered into this world and how we leave this world, and how we go about the sacred ceremony of two becoming one. Blessings to Jacob and Sydney Taylor, who washed each others feet today and stepped into the midst of a viral world, one purpose, one flesh. One day you will tell your grandchildren why you had a wedding and the few who came stood so far apart. You are brave and beautiful! Shalom!

March 27 I’ve been listening to sports talk radio just because I feel sorry for them, and to see what absurdity they are sharing today. Doug Gottlieb was so spare of topic that he was describing a better way to make nachos. He is such a rookie.

March 28 Elijah during the great famine was fed by a raven and a stream, but the stream dried up and the bird brought no more food. He travelled to Zarapheth and asked a widow for some water and cake. She had only enough oil and flour left for a meal with her son and she expected to die soon after it was gone. Yet she fed Elijah.

I Kings 17:13 And Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go and do as you have said. But first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterward make something for yourself and your son. 14 For thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘The jar of flour shall not be spent, and the jug of oil shall not be empty, until the day that the Lord sends rain upon the earth.’” 15 And she went and did as Elijah said. And she and he and her household ate for many days. 16 The jar of flour was not spent, neither did the jug of oil become empty… (ESV)

Albert Schweitzer said, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve”.

I think Schweitzer knew about the oil and flour.